Till Zombie Apocalypse Do We Part
by Caroline Morrison
Summary: Nick and Jess write their own wedding vows to each other. A very fluffy and very funny one shot.


Jess took a deep breath, and took her place at the end of the aisle. Bob appeared, linking his arm with Jess's. "Are you ready?"

Jess smiled up at him. "I've been dreaming of this day since I met him."

She grasped her bouquet, a quirky mix of wild flowers, baby's breath, and dried eucalyptus, bringing it up in front of her. David Gray's "This years love" started to play, and she and bob began their decent down the aisle.

Nick swallowed hard, as Jess appeared. She looked like an angel in her gown. White lace, delicate and feminine just like her, cascaded down her arms and bodice, meeting with the chiffon skirt at her tiny waist. Her raven locks were loose, tumbling down her back, a crown of wild flowers and greenery creating a halo around her head. He gasped, not realizing that he'd been holding his breath.

Jess looked up at Nick, strong and silent, very handsome in his gray slacks, white dress shirt, and suspenders. A small bunch of wild flowers matching her bouquet was pinned to his lapel, as a boutonniere. Schmidt stood next to Nick, dabbing his eyes lightly.

As they approached Nick and the rest of the bridal party, a smile spread across Nick's face.

Bob planted a kiss on top of Jess's head, hugging her tight. He placed her small hand, in Nick's. "Take care of her Rick, she's my baby girl." He whispered to Nick, rushing to his seat to try and hide the tears that were coming.

"I can't believe this is happening." Jess whispered to Nick as they turned to face the officiant.

"finally." Nick whispered back.

The officiant began. "We are gathered here today to join Nicholas and Jessica in Holy Matrimony. The two have written their own vows. Nick will begin."

Nick began to search his pockets, frantic and worried.

"Did you lose your vows?!" Jess hissed, panic washing over her face.

Nick laughed. "Just kidding, they're all up here." He said pointing to his head. "Because they've been my thoughts since the day I first met you."

"Jessica, you drive me crazy. You talk so much, oh man do you talk. But Jess, I'm interested in every word that comes out of your mouth. You leave glitter in my sheets, but when I'm at work and I see a sparkle on my skin, I think of you and smile. You can't handle your alcohol, but you're a cheap date."

The guests chuckled.

"Jess what I'm saying is, if I had to pick someone to annoy me the rest of my life, I'm glad it's you." He fished a quarter out of his pocket. He held it up to her. "This is the coin I had the first night we kissed. It's a quarter, but I wish it was a penny, because then we could name our first daughter Penny, and I know you're into those kinds of meanings. Jess, I would follow you to the ends of the Earth, from L.A. to that small town with a sense of mystery. I promise to unclog the drain when all your hair clogs it. I promise not to drink your drink, even though you ordered It over an hour ago, and have barely taken two sips. Let's forget to shut up, forget to be polite, let's be those people, and have the time of our lives until we drop dead. I'm not good at expressing my feelings, but Jess, I'm so happy that you chose me. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, unless you become a zombie, and then I promise to shoot you in the head. Now and forever, until zombie apocalypse do we part. Jess, I'm not perfect, but with you I feel a little closer to perfection." He slipped a small white gold band on her finger.

Jess wiped the tears from her eyes, smiling at Nick. "that was beautiful." She whispered.

"A little louder, we can't hear!" Winston yelled from his spot behind Schmidt. Everyone giggled.

Jess cleared his throat. "Miller, I don't know where to start. You're the peanut butter to my Jelly, the mac to my cheese, and a million other puns that I know you act like you hate, but secret love. I promise to not sing songs from Dirty Dancing, while the bears are on. I promise to try your recipes even if they smell like Furguson's cat farts. Most of all I promise to be your cheerleader through life, even though cheerleaders are an outdated, warped, sense of femininity. See Nick, I don't love you for your great looks, or mad love of flannel, but because of what a great person you are. I want you to see how amazing of a person you are, I want you to know your worth. I love you, more than I can describe, I love you so much I'm speechless, and you know that doesn't happen often. I'm not saying love will make everything ok, you're not an easy person to live with. But, I'm in it for the long haul. When you moon walk away from our problems, I'm just going to electric slide right back to you and we're going to talk it out. I hope to be the only person you can stand at cocktail parties, for a long time. I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome. You're not just somebody Miller, you're my somebody. I love you like the run of the musical Cats. Now and forever." She took his hand, placing his ring on his finger, her hands shaking slightly.

The officiant smiled. "By the power vested in me by the great state of California, I now pronounce you Mr. And Mrs. Nick Miller. You may kiss your bride."


End file.
